Letting go

It’s a concept I have been working on in many areas of my life. It’s not easy to do, and it requires continual focus.

I have been frustrated over the past two weeks. Actually, it’s been longer than that. I did the math over and over, and knew I “should be” receiving my Invitation imminently. The Peace Corps literature says the application process, on average, takes 6 to 12 months. I’m at the 9-month mark. Funny, I could have had a baby in this time! In some ways, I feel like I am about to give birth — birth to a new life.

Getting comfortable with the “not knowing.” Another concept that’s difficult to embrace, and also takes practice. I knew I was going into the Peace Corps. I wasn’t having second thoughts, or doubts about my decision to serve. Yet, not knowing when I was leaving was starting to get to me. Daily, people asked me if I had heard yet. Some days I would say, “No,” and leave it at that. Other days, I responded with a greater level of frustration. Then something changed.

I had been thinking about which part of this process I could have control over. I couldn’t control when I would receive my Invitation, or when I would be leaving. I knew I needed to move out of my home. I knew I needed to reduce my expenses. And then, I had an epiphany (I love that word!) I needed to let go of the “not knowing,” and move forward. I was driving home from the gym when I decided I would put my house up for rent April 1st and move to a friend’s house in Maryland. I called another friend in Virginia and asked her if I could stay with her one night a week so I could continue to serve my Virginia-based clients. I had taken back control.

About an hour after I got home from the gym, I received the call from the Peace Corps. It’s clear I wasn’t going to be leaving in February, and very unlikely I’d be leaving in March given the “overage of applicants.” My gut tells me I will be in the next group scheduled to leave sometime between April and June.

I couldn’t believe the karmic movement that took place by letting go! My Life Coach called me the poster child for the “Law of Attraction.” 🙂

So, I went through my house, took inventory of my belongings, and started my lists: For Sale — Giveaways — Keep — Donate — Loan — Trash [insert sigh of contentment here.]

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7 Responses to Letting go

  1. Michele Cartier says:

    Mary,

    You are the “law of attraction!” If I look historically… Europe multiple times, moving across the county, owning your own business…all done on your own. You are getting what you focus on! You go girl! I know it is hard to see sometimes from your shoes.

    …me on the other hand, I am getting what I focus on…the coach, bigger by the day, and last but not least; dog hair on everything! 🙂 🙂

    You are the family I needed. It has always felt like we were born to be friends. I couldn’t be more honored to have you in my life…thank you for who you are and all you do. You are truly an inspiration. You will get this Peace Corp thing…this is a piece of cake for you! They just have a few lesson to teach prior to leaving the US. Learning to let go is huge…something I can’t even see for myself…but I get the concept.

  2. Mike says:

    I liked this post. We loose only what we cling to … the rest is all a gift.

  3. Amy D. says:

    “Original program full, wait patiently for consideration sometime after April.” I am not surprised as many blogs have reported programs being full through end of March. Knowing something is better than not knowing. Here’s to moving forward, Spring is around the corner, I may go buy some flowers to plant in the yard.

  4. Amy D. says:

    OMG, right after I posted a comment on your blog I got an email from placement!!!!! Perhaps the laws of attraction are true. Stay tuned.

  5. Amy D. says:

    Wow- Mary you have an ability to express in words almost exactly what I have been feeling and struggling with…I am not quite at the “letting go” stage, but thanks for the encouragement to continue onward.

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